DEAR ANNIE: I believe a family member of mine may have an untreated personality disorder. She either loves or hates people, but that can flip in an instant. She is vindictive and punishes people for even a perceived slight. Her punishment can be extremely cruel and calculated. She often dreams up ways to emotionally devastate people. She constantly has conflict at work and has no friends, yet she is extremely needy to those she feels close to. She and her spouse are verbally abusive toward each other and talk terribly about each other behind the other’s back. It’s emotionally exhausting to be …