DEAR ERIC: I am 75; my brother is three years older. I’m dying of Stage 4 renal cancer that has metastasized. Before that, I tried many ways and many times to explain why I didn’t like spending time with him. I don’t like the person he is. I didn’t like his parenting that was demeaning to his adopted son, nor that he said my stepchildren weren’t “real” because they weren’t adopted. He has gaslighted and demeaned me our whole lives. When I had open heart surgery, my then-wife asked me to tell him not to come in so she could have quiet time to contemplate; he showed up and kept talking to her fo…