DEAR MISS MANNERS: An older relative is one of those totally honest sorts, and prides herself on both her wisdom and her willingness to speak her mind in any situation. She keeps lists of everything she dislikes about others, everything she believes they do wrong, etc., and recites those lists, often publicly. She likes to be the center of attention, and that is certainly part of the problem, but I really believe that in her misguided heart, she thinks she is improving others and passing on pearls of wisdom. Of course, those of us who are frequent targets of her critiques feel insulted, bullie…