DEAR ABBY: A relative is getting married, and the RSVP date has passed. It was announced many months ago and was to be a big, formal church wedding, with eight or nine groomsmen and bridesmaids, a flower girl and ring bearer, followed by a reception. On the last day of the RSVP deadline, the couple sent out a postcard stating: “Change of plans! After much consideration, we have decided to have a private wedding ceremony. Meet at the reception as planned.” I think it’s extremely rude and presumptuous to be expected to travel a great distance at a hefty expense only to find out that guests are n…