DEAR ABBY: My mom always catered to my dad when I was growing up. I was left to pretty much raise myself. Their drinking and social life were their priorities. I ended up pregnant at 16 and married to an abusive 21-year-old man, and I was divorced at 17. After that, I was on my own. Mom never helped other than writing an occasional check so my situation wouldn’t become her problem. She always blamed Dad for her absence in my life and my kids’ lives, so when he died suddenly four years ago, I foolishly thought we’d finally have this great relationship. Since his death, Mom’s focus has been on t…