Expressing your sympathy to someone who has just lost a loved one is a sensitive matter requiring tact – and fraught with pitfalls. Two experts give tips on what you should – and shouldn’t – do. 1. Take the relationships into account In accordance with your relationships to the deceased and the bereaved, “express your sincere condolences, heartfelt sympathy, memories of and esteem for the deceased, quotations, general thoughts on leave-taking, death, grief, and offer help,” advises Thomas Schäfer-Elmayer, an etiquette expert in Vienna. 2. Write a letter, card or perhaps an email “The classic w…