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Would-be armed robbers, I have some advice to you: Target Starbucks stores. No, seriously. The company wants you to endanger its employees and customers, even hurt a few, for your personal financial gain. OK, admittedly, Starbucks didn’t come out and say that in so many words, but actions speak so much louder than words, and the company’s actions have sent a clear message to aspiring criminals everywhere: Please come take what we have and make it yours by violent force, and feel free to have at any customers who might be present, too. I mean, I don’t know what other lesson could be taken away …

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